***Please note if you are a victim of any kind of abuse or dealing with someone who is harming you in any way, please reach out for help and get yourself out of that situation as soon as you can. Those people are not energy vampires, but abusers. Look after yourself and get the help you need. This post is intended for people who are struggling with day to day energy issues.***
I’ve said it before, and I’m pretty sure I’ll say it again - we need to stop talking about “energy vampires”.
This is something I’m super passionate about and you can find a podcast episode on it here.
In my humble opinion, “Energy Vampire” is basically a derogatory term for someone who’s pain is manifesting in ways we find energetically uncomfortable.
I get it. Sometimes it can feel like we are being personally energetically attacked.
It feels like our energy is being drained and sucked dry and we are so exhausted at the end of a meeting, day at work, dinner with a friend that all we want to do when we get home is sleep or cry, or complain about it.
I’ve been in that situation too, and I used to use this phrase to talk about people I worked with. It made sense to me because that’s how it felt.
But then something magical happened.
I started taking responsibility for my own energy and everything shifted.
When I stopped seeing it as an attack from the outside, that I was a “victim”, I took back my power.
When I remembered that you can’t change other people, but you can change the way you respond to them, my relationships improved.
Instead of seeing people as being out to get me, I started to see what was really going on. The people I found it so hard to be around? They were unhappy, disconnected and hurting. They weren’t trying to leech me dry of my good shiny vibes. They were just energetically reaching out for something that might make them feel better and I just got in the way.
Being on the spiritual path is not just about new crystals, decks and connecting with your spirit guides (although that stuff is all great too!). It’s about living a life aligned with love and compassion.
Being on the spiritual path means sifting through and taking responsibility for your own junk. (Also known to some as shadow work!)
Every single person reading this has at one point or another been the difficult workmate or the friend that doesn’t stop complaining and brings someone else down.
We’ve all been on both sides.
As spiritual people we are lucky to have the tools to navigate through our stuff. Not everyone has this, and while it’s tempting to roll our eyes at those who are still sleeping, we’ve been asleep too, and sometimes we still go for naps every now and then!
OK, so, how do you do you shift this? Here are some tips that I use when I’m faced with energetic challenges:
Stop making it about them and make it about you
Bottom line is we can’t change anyone but ourselves. Instead of blaming and complaining ask: what can I learn from this? How can I be more compassionate? What can I do to get through this day/meeting/dinner with strength and ease?
We have the choice to see ourselves as the victim of someone taking our own power or we can step into our own power and hold onto what’s ours.
Protect your energy
Take responsibility for your own energy and protect it. You wouldn’t go out in the rain without an umbrella, so don’t go into that meeting without some kind of energy protection.
If you’re brand new to energy protection check out my free e-book How to Stay Shiny. To go even deeper with your energy work check out Woo Woo 101.
Have good healthy boundaries
If you have a friend who always calls with their problems, or a family member who always expects you to come running, set some better boundaries. Be firm but kind with people. Turn your phone off, don’t be so available. That doesn’t mean cutting people out or not having time for them at all, it just means being clear about when you’re available and when you’re not.
So often empaths and lightworkers run into energy issues because we are sooo available! Setting some boundaries with others and yourself can be life changing!
Compassion
Compassion is one of the best ways to protect your energy. When you stop seeing other people as the enemy and start seeing them as people who have problems, challenges and hurts we begin to realise that we’re maybe not so different.
Send love to the people in your life who are energetically closed off, the people who you find it hard to be around, the people who push your buttons and exhaust you. Send them love and pray that they find some peace and healing.
When you do this, next time you go into that meeting you won’t see them as the enemy, but someone who needs love, like we all do, and that will change everything between you energetically.
Know when to go
Sometimes we just need to let people go, leave jobs and move on. All the energy protection in the world won’t help if it’s time for you to go.
There are times when someone is deliberately trying to hurt us, and when that happens we can skip right to knowing it’s time to go. You never have to stick around if you are being harmed in any way.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this. Comment below - what do you think of the term “energy vampire”?
With love and light,
Vix
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